Do the Dew, my friend
Sugary nectar of life
The old skool Red Bull
---
Overwhelmingly
Vibrant, classy, and way cool
"Funky sweater, man."
---
Chanel sunglasses
Two hundred dollars for what?
Amber perspective.

I have been eating the chocolate chip espresso cookies I made last night for fuel.
And now my heart is overwhelmed and wants out of my chest stat.
So I rock back and forth to calm it down.
[But what I really want to do is climb shit]

So, I'm that fine line between nomad and your average drifter.
I'm a wanderer, and I enjoy wandering. I like to go on adventures and explore towns, cities, and states from different angles. The distance varies from blocks to miles, depending on my mood. I always come back, though, because as much as I'd sometimes like to cut all ties and start completely fresh elsewhere, I am still connected to the people here. Deeply rooted, in fact. It's really the people that make the place all the reason to come back. Physical familiarity brings only so much comfort; it's the mental familiarity that makes everything more meaningful. It's the family and friends that make a home a home.
I am no less a true believer in escapism, though, because nevertheless, sometimes you need to just go.

So I go. I go north, I go south, I go east, I go west. It varies.

Last week I went to Iowa. I know, of all places to travel to, I travel to the one with a bigger corn population that people. But I hit up this little nook full of eccentricities and actually more diversity than my little nook in nothern suburbia of Chicago. I was not only impressed, but I was overjoyed! People don't give Iowa enough credit--it does have it's amazing nooks.

Anyway, the main reason I drift so much is because sometimes I need to get away from what I like to refer to as "ground zero". For me, "ground zero" is anywhere drama, meanspiritedness, or negative energy is festering and residing. Mind you, I do what I can to cure the chaos, but soon enough realize some people just want to be dramatic, meanspirited, or negative. Some people thrive off of it and honestly, it grosses me out. When I leave, it basically means I've exhausted whatever it may be to the point where I now understand it's out of my control and can do no more than let it blow over on it's own. And then I make like a leave and blow away for a while, giving myself my own personal retreat to figure things out, mull things over--all while distracting myself with fresh, new terrain to explore.

Life is much more peaceful this way, I believe.

However, this past week, I was constantly distracted by home. I've found drama finds it's way to you much easier with technology. My cellphone becomes more of a burden than a luxury by the day. I kept it on for the sake of important phonecalls from family, but in the end only recieved angry rants from friends with issues they often complain about but don't nearly as often do anything to change.

Enough of that, though, because it's really unnecessary. What I am getting at is that when I got home, I was thoroughly frusterated. The reason I impulsively went to Iowa was to get away from all the drama amongst friends at home and most importantly, in hopes to rebuild my spirit. The latter was so important to me because ever since this year started, I've had my fair share of low blows and spirit crushers. I've turned into a semi-pessimistic, cynical girl who clammed up because she is once again terrified to open up, feel, and love completely. Almost the exact opposite of what I used to be: a reasonably optimistic, carefree girl who finally grew the courage to open up, feel, and love completely.
I was frusterated because as much as I tried to get away, I didn't. As much as I needed me-time and told everyone I needed to figure out my shit before I could help them figure out theirs, I still had the same bitchy rant phonecalls. And I would listen and in my two cents but eventually would turn off my ringer. After a while, the person needs to decide on their own what they want to do in their given situation. I can only listen and say so much without taking matters into my own hands. And I won't.

Feeling fruitless, I returned from my journey and felt as if I had lost my chance at rehibilitating my spirit. Not quite. Stubborness pays off sometimes.

I spent the whole weekend at home reflecting, reading, and doing chores for my parents. I started writing again, after nearly half a year lapse of simply writing quotes and song lyrics here and there. I started writing like I used to, like I am writing right now--openly and with my whole heart. During that lapse, I felt nothing I said was ever important or worthy enough to write out. At least not anymore. Everything I thought about somehow would link to her, and my feelings; both were things I didn't care to think about anymore than usual. Writing would only make these thoughts and feelings more real to me, and that I couldn't deal with. I hurt enough as it was just brooding.

However, on Saturday, I woke up and started writing what began to be a rant but turned out to be my philosophy on drama, meanspiritedness, and negativity. It started out with someone in particular in mind, but ended up being about anyone engulfed in drama and in need of a solution. Escaping came up, but I focused more on solving issues rather than the possible aftermath.

Anyway, after that entry, I mowed the lawn and went back to reading Cunt. This book is full of interesting facts and inspiring knowledge and wisedom gathered by women all over the world. If you ever want to learn what it is like to be a woman, read this book. If you are a woman and would like to educate yourself on your womanhood, by all means, this is a book you should pick up. Honestly, it is so empowering and educational. I gurantee if you are any bit of a feminist or simply respect the women, you will have your nose in this book like it was your job. You will learn to respect yourself more as a woman and celebrate all of our fellow women. By all means, I am no "burn your bra" raging feminist, but I do believe women are seriously unappreciated and underestimated in regards to our strength, power, and intelligence. Times are 'a changin' though, and I plan on keeping the ball rolling.

I've been inspired so much by this book not only by what I've learn from it but by what it's sparked inside of me: courage, hope, and vigor. As I read more and more, I reflected on my life and my environment. But instead of simply thinking, I felt compelled to write, and write, and write. After a while, I remember why I wrote so much. It's so theraputic! My goodness, it felt so good! The more and more I wrote, the more and more my passion for writing resurfaced. Suddenly, writing was once again no longer an activity for the mind but a outlet for the heart and soul. It was like finally reaching the surface of water after being submerged for far too long and gasping for that first breath of air.

Relief.

Not only that, but closure and a soaring, rejuvinated spirit. I feel alive and free.

So, I guess what I am trying to say is, after everything that has happened this year, I'm back.

I feel the most free when I am outside--be it driving, biking, kayaking, or simply walking aimlessly. I don't need a destination really. I make where ever I go my destination, where ever that may be. I'd like to think I am throwing fate off by jumping off track. I always daydream about jumping off track and starting from that new point. I'd like to think there is some freewill in this fate--a variety of paths to a variety of destinies.

Let us live unexpectedly
Surprise the world with our spontaneity
Let's skim the radar, then disappear
We'll explore the world with no fear

That's how I roll.

Hello friends,
I now have a face for my name
I have a habit of making sites on my free time. With that said, welcome to my newest addition. I look forward to fiddling with all this site has to offer. I love how there is so much to look at and do--never a dull moment. It's wonderful
I know I don't update nearly enough. I've been up, down, and all around, in and out, and everywhere inbetween lately. I have the best intentions of taking many more pictures in the near near future, though. I love the idea of capturing life's moments on film. Also, I should be getting photoshop soon, so that's swell.
Me + photoshop = plenty of interesting photos, haha.
Once, I made a picture of an asteriod coming towards this random guy on Google (who conveniently had the perfect facial expression for the given situation). I also had a poem for it, but I couldn't tell you what came first.
Random random random.
So, a little about me...
I enjoy photography, of course, as well as art in all forms. I love to draw and I would love to learn how to effectively use charcoal and chalk. I plan to learn how to paint (better) eventually, and then paint a lot more. Practice makes perfect, you know.
I believe I can do anything I set my mind to, truly.
I enjoy writing. I write in some shape or form (with pen or via typing) everyday. I've kept a journal since middle school. It started out with random notebooks, then multiple blogs online, and finally to an actual journal. I've gotten cheesy journals before for Christmas from family, but I never really took them seriously. They were always the kind of journals that help you along with things to spark the process such as "what's the weather?", "what's my mood?", etc. That was until last summer when my friend surprised me with a leather-bound journal. That journal captured a very significant maturing point for me: the summer before college and most of my first year at school. What also made it special was that instead of writing in it alone, I made it a community journal among my friends and family. I gathered a lot of memories, talent, and wisdom. That journal was not only me and my thoughts, but my loved ones and theirs. I can honestly say that is the one item I cherish the most. I just bought a new journal after lots of searching, and I am once again writing avidly about life and what I observe. Now that it's summer, I plan on picking up where I left off in my community journaling. It's a beautiful thing.
I am a very much an outdoorsy person. I enjoy hiking, biking, and camping. I recently got into kayaking. I am a frisbee and hackey sack enthusiast. Nothing beats a walk and talk. Sunsets and sunrises are cherished, and most enjoyed when shared. Rainy days are okay, in my book; I love jumping in puddles either barefoot or in my galoshes. I like the word galoshes. And the word glockenspiel. Not that I have a thing for 'g' words...that was just a coincidence. I like the word crayon, and yes, I felt I should add that in order to mix it up.
I like to make ordinary hats look original. My most notorious creation is the hat I usually wear. It started out with simply a picture I took on front (stapled) and grew from then on. I proceeded to add numerous buttons and fabric as time went on. Now, after four years, that hat defines me as a person. Never have I had a garment be so apart of me as this hat is.
I'm weird and quirky, spontaneous, and genuine. And CLEARLY, as it turns 4am in three minutes, I am a night owl. I stay up because the night is peaceful, and I enjoy feeling like I am the only one in the world that is awake. [I also have a love for infomercials ::]
I wrote all of this to give a peek at who I am as a person. So many times people will settle with knowing the bare minimum about their peers if allowed, and I don't believe in that. By looking at my pictures, you see scenes of my life captured through a lens. To me, photography is an intimate portrayal of life through the eyes of the photographer. You will see what I see, or in some cases, how I want you to see what I see. You will see snapshots of my life. But who is that girl? What do these things mean to her? I don't always have a caption because I don't always know what to say. And often when I do, I am too shy to say it. Right now, though, here I am, balls out, yo (a fun phrase my friends and I coined to say when we are being straight-forward, haha).
And sometimes, I don't leave a caption because I like to leave it up to the viewer. It leaves everything up to interpretation. By all means, gather your own meaning. Or, if you want to get to know me, ask. Every picture of mine has a story, and even if it doesn't, I'll think of something fresh and funky just for kicks.
I do believe that's all for now. I should have some stellar pictures up soon...I just recently went to see Regina Spektor in concert--AHH!! Fantastic!
So yea, life...
Goodnight, world.

Love, Jen

PS: My favorite letter in the spanish alphabet is egreaga (sp?), also known as 'y'.